His Perfect Timing: Part II

It seems a little glib to celebrate God's faithfulness in saving me while not discussing the death of the baby I would never see (please see His Perfect Timing: Part I).  Where was God's faithfulness in denying my baby a place in my uterus?  A tube designed to deliver new life to its safe, nourishing womb, instead ruptured, becoming a tomb.  Life ended abruptly, with a stab of pain.  No gender revealed or ever to be known.  No name.  Me, teased; almost a mother.  

A number of times in my life my father has reminded me of the words of Abraham, "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" (Genesis 18:25b)  Abraham asks this question of the LORD as he wants to save his nephew Lot from perishing in Sodom.  Did the Hebrew mothers in Egypt ask this same question of God when their baby boys were killed?  What about the mothers of Bethlehem when their toddlers and babies were slain?  "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?"  Only Joseph received the dream that warned him to take his family and depart.  Jesus, your birth brought a massacre.  "In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not." (Matthew 2:18)

I am not equating an ectopic pregnancy with the murder of babies.  I am simply noting that countless mothers have had their arms denied.  No baby to hold.  No mouth to feed.  No cries to comfort.

"Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?"  Is God a faithful Father?  

If you have had a recent loss, I don't expect this post will be satisfying.  I cried many tears at the loss of our first baby (Heaven's Little One).  The pain is real.  The loss is staggering. * 

I also do not wish to try to explain away the mystery, trying to make complete sense of the incomprehensible.  I don't tend to ask God, "Why?" but I do understand why people can go through tragedy and wonder how a loving, Sovereign God could let this happen.  I would think the same if I didn't know Him personally.

I could talk about how sin entered the world and wreaked havoc on everything, its effects far-reaching.  I could talk about God giving us free-will so that we could choose to love Him (or not) and how free-will also means that God doesn't prevent every bad thing happening.  I could talk about how only God sees the big picture.  

The fact is that I love God, though very imperfectly.  I trust Him ("I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24).  He has proved Himself real to me through countless interventions in my life.  I know first hand that "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matthew 5:4) The God of all the universe chooses to meet me in my hurt and pain and brings me comfort.  He offers the same to you.

We are all called to bring God glory in different ways.  My time is not yet up.  I am called to look to Jesus, "the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2).  Death is not the end.  Eternity is forever.  

The apostle Paul tells us he "would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord." (2 Corinthians 5:8).  King David tells us that he will see his son again saying, "I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me." (2 Samuel 12:23).  Jesus tells the thief on the cross, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43).  (As an aside, I am not claiming to know what happens after death compared to what happens after our glorious resurrection but I trust God with that too - read 1 Corinthians 15.)      

Death is like an amputation for those who remain here to grieve but not for the one who goes to Jesus.  The sting is real now but one day because of Jesus, "this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality.  When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.' O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" 

Hopefully my answer to the question of God's faithfulness to my baby is clear.  In light of eternity, this suffering can have a purpose and God can redeem it.  He is a faithful God.  I don't claim to understand God's plan and purpose but I know He is good, I know He loves me and my baby, and I know He is Sovereign.  He allowed Job's children to be killed but not Job.  Clearly, He is all-powerful and can intervene but sometimes chooses not to for reasons we may never know.  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8)

Yes, it comes down to faith.  My hope comes from the Word of God.  I choose to thank God and praise Him even through the tears.  Yes, the Judge of all the earth does right.  Always.

* I believe that life starts at conception with the miracle of sperm meeting egg.  As a huge aside, this is the reason that we have never used the birth control pill since the first few months of our marriage when we learned that the pill "can also prevent pregnancy by changing the lining of the womb so it's unlikely the fertilized eggs will be implanted." I realize the pill also prevents pregnancy in other non-controversial ways) (webmd.com)